It's 4:47 am and I'm being kicked in my side. Someone is awake and ready to play. I keep my eyes closed hoping that the kicks would stop, but they only get stronger. I open my eyes and I see this face smiling at me! I pick her up, change her diaper then fix her a bottle. "Maybe she will go back to sleep after this bottle, because mommy is so tired." She finishes her bottle and now she is ready to play. I'm really tired so I try my hardest to rock her back to sleep. Of course that didn't work, so we watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse instead. 6:00 comes around and she is starting to rub her little eyes.
She's finally asleep. Now I can go back.
But... I forget sometimes that this little girl who looks at me and smiles at 4:47 am is a miracle. I sometimes can't remember what my life was like before her.
And how I wasn't ready for her to come.
But she did.
She did come, because God ordained it. And I didn't know it. I didn't expect her to come so soon.
All I knew is what the doctor told me. "She is not liking her environment in there, so we need to take her." I remember the day like it was yesterday, and all of the events leading up to it. The weekend of her baby shower was CRAZY! My uncle had passed away so we had to attend the family hour that Friday. His funeral was Saturday (the same day as the baby shower) and Sunday we all met at my aunts house. At the baby shower, Parker barely moved. Sunday night, she didn't move at all, but I figured she was just sleeping. Monday morning I went to work and she still hadn't moved. I called my mom and told her what was going on. She immediately came and took me to labor and delivery. They checked me in. Hooked me up. And we waited. 4 hours later at 2:47 pm, the miracle was born. Weighing 2 lbs, 5.7 oz.
I was so unsure about everything. It was like a dream. Like I was traveling through fog and couldn't see anything.
You can't see it, but then it's right there.
She was right there.
Sometimes miracles are like that. They seem so far away. And then suddenly, it's right there.
October 10, 2016, everything changed for us.
I didn't see it coming. I didn't see her coming.
But God did.
He always saw her.
"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations."(Jeremiah 1:5)
This is something I love about God: He sees EVERYTHING. He sees what we can't even imagine.
And He sees us, even when we stop believing in miracles. And guess what? He still loves us.
I don't always understand His ways, and I don't really know how miracles work. But I believe that when God performs a miracle, we should celebrate it and never forget it!
Sometimes we seem to forget-the miracle.
So today, I want you to remember.
Remember the miracle-that God performed- that time when you were crying out. That time when you whispered prayers in the dark, and you couldn't see your way out. That time when you thought nothing would ever change-but it did.
Sometimes, we have to remember the miracle of the past in order to have hope for the future. Remember that time He came through for you? Remember that time you had no money in your account, but got an unexpected check in the mail? Remember that miracle. Big or small, God is still performing miracles every single day. When we remember, we can celebrate. Then we we trust Him. Then we can stop walking in fear and start walking by faith.
We must remember. We must celebrate and thank Him for the miracle. Even if it was last month. Or even last year. Or five years ago. Never forget the miracle and the God who showed himself through it.
One day, Parker will ask me if I believe in miracles.
I will tell her, Yes. You are one.